Does the child beat?
It is no secret that children are sometimes unbearable: their pampering, whims and disobedience, can bring to the white heat even the most imperturbable parent. And to spank the mischievous seems the only way out in this situation. What to do in this case: do you beat the child for bad behavior, or choose another method of exposure? We will talk about whether it is possible to apply physical methods of punishment and how this will affect the development of a child.
Can I beat the kids?
It would seem that the punishment of children is the personal matter of the parents, and the right to decide whether to beat the child remains with them. However, modern moral and legal laws do not agree with this statement. However, this was not always the case.
Physical punishment in history
As early as the 18th and 19th centuries, children were treated so strictly that the parents and teachers didn’t even have a question: can children be beaten? From the point of view of a modern person, the children were then simply tortured! At the same time, the teachers at the school, the clergy at the church, and even outsiders could just whip the child away - just by right of seniority.Such morals reigned both in Russia, and in Great Britain, and in America. And in Greece, for example, it was generally believed that a child can learn a lesson only through the skin, therefore flogged in schools ruthlessly.
In which countries can you beat children?
In our time, the situation has changed radically, and now the physical punishment of children is condemned almost everywhere. In Europe and most of the states of America, parents who are beating their children face major troubles, even criminal prosecution. In some eastern countries, where the cult of honoring parents reigns, physical punishment is still practiced. But they, as a rule, are limited by religious traditions, that is, this does not mean that you can beat children for any offense - there is a whole set of rules in which cases corporal punishment can be applied. Such rules exist, for example, in the Jewish religion.
Russia, being between east and west, has not yet fully decided on this issue. According to polls of sociologists, in most of our families, hitting a child by the bottom is the most common form of punishment. Meanwhile, psychologists and teachers argue that children can not be beaten.
Why not beat children?
It has been proved by psychologists that when a child is beaten, it is not corrected, but begins to feel sorry for itself, loses the ability to believe in adults, it feels itself not loved enough. From this, he begins to behave even worse, and slap him more often. It turns out a vicious cycle that robs the child of self-esteem. And yet, the child who is beaten understands:
- that it is possible to humiliate and beat the weak;
- that adults are powerless against the pampering of children;
- that the use of force is the best means of resolving a conflict;
- that parents need to be afraid.
In addition, it has been proven that violence delays the development of the child, and also affects his mental health in the future. For example, such a psychosexual deviation in adults, like masochism, is formed due to the fact that in the child’s subconscious mind, beating and humiliation are strongly associated with a sense of parental care. Boys are more prone to this, and from girls whose parents have sought out perfect obedience by force, women grow up who cannot resist violence and choose their husbands as despots, perhaps this is a serious argument in the conversation about why children should not be beaten.
How not to beat the child?
It also happens that parents know this wrong, but they still beat the child - what to do in this case? It is not a secret that parents who often beat themselves in their childhood often beat children because they do not know other methods of education. Therefore, if you are excessively hot-tempered and do not know how to cope with your own irritation, consult a family psychologist without waiting for the tragic consequences.
When can I beat children?
Despite all of the above, sometimes a physical impact on the miser can be justified. It is, of course, not about beating the child on the pope with a belt. Sometimes psychologists recommend using a sharp slap, not painful, but more offensive. Such a “shock therapy” will help a child who is so spoiled that he does not react to any comments (such outbreaks of inappropriate behavior sometimes occur in babies during the crisis of the third year of life). You can spank a child only under the following conditions:
- If the punishment was preceded by a repeated and calm warning.
- If this slap is not revenge on the child.
- If this is not a displacement on the child of "nerves", anger, bad mood and well-being.
- If the situations in which you have to beat the child are extremely rare.
Parents need to remember that they are the creators of the child's personality! From the words and behavior of adults depends, in many ways, the future life of children. Be patient, and your child will grow up a kind, healthy, and, most importantly, happy person.