How to love women
Practicing psychologist Natalya Belousova gives nine important recommendations for men on how to love women so that relationships develop happy, long and harmonious.
Coordinate with her social roles
There are women with a complex of Jewish mothers. There are girls-eternal children. There are girls girls and their boys in skirts. There are department heads unable to make coffee. There are clinically unsure models and charming plain women who are envied by everyone. There are clever modest socialites and sociable people with a doctoral degree. You need a woman with whom you have the same understanding of social roles, yours and hers.
There is nothing shameful when a girl offers: you dress me and pay for an apartment, I lead the house and do not refuse you in bed - and you agree. There is nothing wrong when she warns: I am determined to raise children and quit my job, plus I need a nanny to get enough sleep and look decent. This may be at least the option "let me write off your apartment to Tetin, learn Ruby and walk naked, just slap me more often on the pope."The only criterion for acceptability of any relationship option is the consent of both parties.
The lion's share of deep family conflicts is due to the following: the spouses were not expecting from each other what the partner was willing to give, that is, at the beginning of the relationship they simply did not agree on what kind of joint future they would create and relied on intuition. And intuition in relation to people who do not know from the cradle, often messes up. Therefore, clarify what she is ready to give you and what she wants to receive from you, correlate with your desires and draw conclusions as to whether she is destined for you or whether some problems lie ahead. Such conversations are not “trade”, which is condemned by romantic stereotypes, but normal steps towards the construction of harmonious relations. Allah will not give you family happiness on a silver platter, but he gave you brains and tongues to negotiate it.
Gender-preoccupied women are worried about the fact that someone will decide for them, select their right to self-determination and put them at attention, and then close to the wall. I'm not talking about that.This refers to a good habit in situations where you need to make a choice, to be determined faster than she is, and to offer her own version. This does not mean that your word is not being discussed. Just women do not like mumble. Even if they love, for the most part the maternal instinct, and sooner or later, the wife, exhausted by constant decisions, will be tempted to fall on the chest of an authoritarian bobsleigh coach.
- Dear, let's go out for dinner somewhere.
- Where can you say, dear, I absolutely do not care, I can even eat nails after these meetings in the head office.
- Dear, let's go somewhere.
- Come on, I just saw the new Ethiopian cuisine restaurant, where waiters in some negros loincloths read caste like you?
Do not disappear without warning
I understand that regular reports about what you do demean a free person. On the other hand, isn't that what you're doing on Twitter? Here is some ancient secret curse: as soon as you linger for an hour longer than usual, do not pick up the phone, do not react to messages for a long time - even the most sober, cold-blooded phlegmatic woman begins to imagine how a snake swallowed you, the wagon moved, and the drunk chief killed him for death nuts,Vera Brezhnev passed by and, having fallen in love, she took you away from her in a golden Cadillac forever. With this, nothing can be done. Women worry, it is in their nature. The way out is to warn her that you can linger and go offline, solving issues, even if the chances of it are scanty.
Repair things in the house
The magic of nailing in and changing a gasket in a mixer for a woman is equivalent to a holy thrill that an average man feels, watching a mountain of dirty vegetables, bloody bones and strange herbs turn into an delicious three-course meal for an hour. The man-mechanic wants to worship - the desire immortalized in the classic pornography about the plumber. And even if dad and grandfather did not take you to the workbench in the garage as a child, it’s better to look at the manual on the Internet and try to be a home craftsman than to mumble "I don’t know if the electrician's phone was somewhere on the wallpaper in the hallway." Practical knowledge of how to cope with life, are part of male eroticism and cause respect for those to whom such things are not given in principle or are not interesting (most girls). The only best alternative is “listen,take the money in the nightstand and order the toilet that you want, along with the installation, otherwise I am not as strong in the aesthetics of the interiors as you are, at the same time, you will buy shoes for yourself in the shopping center ”.
Show proactive sensitivity
Proactive is the antonym of the reactive, that is, you do not react, but act to anticipate and anticipate. In women, more often than in men, the mood changes, they give greater importance to things that a man would forget in a minute. Therefore, monitor this sensitive system, as if it were a delicate instrument, which is significantly affected by weather, light, news, gossip, and anything else. As soon as the woman’s behavior begins to deviate from the usual - the talker is silent for a long time, the activity hangs thoughtfully, the calm catches on the dog, and the opinion leader comes out of the bathroom with red eyes - ask if everything is alright, has anything happened, without waiting “I have been depressed for three months already, if I had died you wouldn’t have noticed”. The idea that for a partner her mood is as important as for her, in itself, it will warm a woman. Then maybeyou don’t even have to hear passages like “Madonna turned 55, like my mom, mom looks much worse, and I’ll do it, you’ll leave me for a student”, “Chapik is sad, I read on the Internet, he probably has cancer” and “I I just realized that I was a mediocre nothingness that explains everything. ”
Criticize so that it does not look criticism
Even if you didn’t get a very clever copy, and you can’t leave her, because you are rushing from the shape of her legs and the smell of her lotion, you can correct the behavior of your beloved so that you don’t offend her and cause causal responses. Any good initiative with a dubious result is best praised first, and then carefully point out the shortcomings (initiatives, in any case, not women). A bad example: “The whole office today laughed at me because of your scraggy sushi. They ordered the normal ones, replaced them with yours and played the courier, the boy didn’t have enough of a blow. ” A good example: “Delicious apple pie, I ate the whole! No, no, I didn’t swell up with discontent, I’m just allergic! And you can next time the same, but with a pear? You are so well done! ”
Give little attention, even if lazy
Do you think flowers are a waste of money, but does she adore them? Step on your throat (women despise miserly) and buy a gerbera at least once a week. You cost a hundred rubles, and her joy in a thousand. Get used to giving small gifts for no reason, and with time the fact of giving will bring you the same pleasure as the fact of receiving it. Small signs of attention include memorization - and a more realistic step, recording all the dates that she considers important to the phone’s calendar. The day of your acquaintance, the first date, the day when you came together, when you offered her your hand and heart, your wedding day, the birthdays of children, her mother, her puppy, her name day, Valentine's Day, finally. Always have on hand some worthy gift, at worst, a certificate of the perfume chain (you know how much decent perfumes cost, yes? 80 dollars), it will save you a lot of nerves.
Praise her appearance, even if you're lying
The standards of our society suggest that a woman should look good, and this installation penetrates into the minds of all girls - even yours, who snorts at the mention of fashion and in the opera, arms akimbo, push carts about feminism.I understand that the new haircut, and even more so, the new styling or bracelet, which she chose four hours, is difficult to notice against the backdrop of the crisis around Syria, the volatility of the options market and other important things. But you really try. If she has an innate taste and dresses so unobtrusively that you cannot distinguish her pastel cardigans from each other, give yourself a repeated reminder to compliment her, coded with something like “take vitamins”.
If she bought a vulgar scarlet skirt a la cabaret, pantyhose in a large mesh, in which each of her legs looks like jamon in a shopping bag, and is going to go with you to the buffet at the bar, keep from harsh statements. A bad example: "I see that you finally plucked up the courage to go to the sex shop." A good example: “Wow, how bold it is, you will seduce all my colleagues, I will go mad with jealousy, do not be so cruel to me. But I see a cool black dress, you and I went to dance in it, do you remember how wonderful it was? .. ”. Remember: any change in appearance indicates a desire to like you, so in general it is positive, even if sometimes you are drawn to put a package on her head.A confidence that she gets you like, directly affects her looseness in sex.
Designate things you will never do.
This somewhat echoes item 1, but there are nuances. A number of things seem to you trifles, not even worth mentioning, but it shakes them, and vice versa. Therefore, mark these your fad at once, somehow arranging your fanabria: a child injury, an allergy, I become irritable from this, it makes me unhappy, the voices in my head are not told. And I will NEVER wear your handbag, walk your spitz, walk with you for clothes, arrange family dinners for our parents. Why is it important to say this on time and firmly? Because it is necessary to give up a couple of times out of politeness, and then shirk, and the girl begins to think that you have fallen out of love. And the fact that you love her is the cornerstone, the primary element, the base and pivot of your relationship for her. This is what your woman in principle should never doubt.