What if the husband constantly humiliates and insults?
Each woman, deciding on the most important step in her life - marriage, dreams of a cozy home, children and reliable support in the person of her husband. If the first two components of family happiness she can bring to life on her own, then the third one is entirely dependent on her husband. For many, the question is how to behave when a husband constantly insults and humiliates his wife after several years of marriage?
Many of the men, even if they marry, do not want to take responsibility and become the head of the family. They believe that life has not changed, as he was beloved mama son, and remained. Only one thing changes in this situation - now he demands attention and care from another woman - his wife. He forgets that she has problems related to work, children and home, which cannot be put aside and deal only with “his majesty - her husband”.
The man’s irritation is growing, and instead of understanding his wife and helping her, he begins to act with accessible methods. And what could be more accessible than to drive a person into a corner and make the teams fulfill their whims? Only insults, assault and humiliation. Therefore, the situation when the husband insulted becomes the norm. But is it necessary to put up with it, or should we understand why the husband is insulting and make an effective decision? Answers will try to make out in our article.
Why the husband constantly insults and humiliates the wife - the reasons
The reasons why the husband constantly insults and humiliates the wife is classified by psychology into several positions:
- Feelings that the spouse felt, cooled. This happens in any family - for everyday worries and problems, men and women gradually forget how they loved each other and how well they felt together. That is why the husband always finds fault with trifles. Instead of trying to keep the flame of love for his wife in his heart, he begins to blame the other half and throw out his dissatisfaction in insults at her changed appearance after birth or for other reasons.
- Spouse started love on the side.To say directly that he has a lover, a man can not always. Usually, men who are self-confident and try to live according to the laws of justice and honor can say this out loud. Alas, in the modern world such specimens are in the minority. That is why the husband begins to “harass” his wife with cavils and hysterics, so that she herself leaves him. That's why the husband offends his wife with words:he immediately “kills two birds with one stone” - he gets rid of the unloved woman with her own hands and “unties his hands” to start a new relationship.
- Disgust. It sounds rude, but this is really the feeling that many men feel when they look at their "lowered" wives. What he met a girl when he fell in love? Beautiful, welcome, well-groomed, fun and interesting. And now, in front of him, a “monster” walks around the apartment with greasy hair, in a filthy robe and a face of discontent on his face. The same reason why the ex-husband insults the ex-wife. He loses respect for her because of the "fallen" look.
Dear ladies! Look at yourself in the mirror! Perhaps, the reason for her husband's cavils is in your appearance and psychological mood? Pregnancy, monetary difficulties and temporary problems with work are no excuse.
A woman should always look neat and desirable and then her husband will not have any idea how to humiliate his wife.
Otherwise, he does not find the reason why he once married this "monster" and starts to get nervous. In this case, the nagging of the husband is quite obvious and understandable.
- Have you ever seen couples in which a husband plays the role of a handsome peacock, and a woman looks like a gray mouse against his background? Rest assured, humiliation and insult in these families is a habitual way of communication between the husband and the wife. The woman herself allows herself to be treated in such a way and often she doesn’t even have a thought, “what if my husband calls me offensive and humiliates me?” Low self-esteem and silence of the spouse, allows the husband to mock her with impunity.
- There is another reason why men allow themselves to neglect their second half - addiction. And if a guy humiliates and insults a girl for no apparent reason, you should think about your position in this life. The woman, feeling that she herself is not able to cope with the life situation, tries not to annoy her spouse for “trifles” and is silent in response to all his insults.
- To control a child is a prerequisite for bringing up a person in him. But the control over her husband is another matter. An adult, most likely, will not like the total control, which is arranged by the spouses. They scout on his phone in search of mythical mistresses, browse correspondence in social networks, check where and when he is. What to do if a husband shouts at his wife in this situation? It is worth to respect the personal space of his second half. But no, some even go down for hiring private detectives. Such behavior of the spouse causes irritation in the man and, defending himself, he can sink to extreme measures of humiliation and insults.
True, you can hear from many acquaintances: “My husband offends me and humiliates what to do?” But few people wonder what the reason for this attitude is.
The husband humiliates and offends - advice of a psychologist
The motives why a man humiliates and insults a woman psychology divides into several types. But whatever the reason for this attitude, measures should be taken urgently to prevent the situation from recurring.
So, psychologists advise:
"Put yourself in order!"
- Call your husband for a walk in those places that are dear to you, as a memory. For example, in the park where your dates took place. The fact that her husband constantly calls out and humiliates his wife is morally the advice of a psychologist is recommended to recall your happy moments. Can you "zael life" and it is necessary to resurrect the past feelings?
- Get wedding photos and remember how happy you were;
—Talk with your soul mate about the causes that cause such a negative reaction. Together, try to decide what to do if the husband constantly insults and humiliates the wife (advice from a psychologist - keep calm).
- Explain how much his statements hurt you. Argue that you are not what he says, let him be ashamed of his words. Although, if a man constantly humiliates and insults a woman, psychology gives an unambiguous decision - the wife should become self-sufficient! There are many paths to this, believe in yourself!
Often, no argument can force an insecure and notorious husband to change behavior. Because a man who insults a woman feels a surge of strength and confidence due to someone who is dependent on him and loves.It is a kind of energy vampire that feeds on the life energy of the one next to it.
Here's how to respond to an insult to your husband and this is the advice of a psychologist: look for ways out of this problem, but do not stoop to answer insults.
Do not run to the girlfriends and do not complain about your "bad" spouse
Tomorrow you make peace, and for friends he will always be a bad person who "squeezes you from the world."
Wife constantly insults: what to do?
Psychologists say that the wife begins to humiliate and insult her husband only in one case - loss of respect. Therefore, in order to rectify the situation, every effort should be made to regain respect. This cannot be forced, but it can be deserved. Here are tips on what to do if a wife insults and humiliates a husband:
Treat your wife with respect not only in words but also in deeds.
Do not demand respect by rudeness and strength. This will trigger a very strong reaction in response.
Often the reason that the wife is unhappy and insulting is her tacit leadership in the house. When the wife constantly has to solve all the issues in the house, her irritation at the failure of her husband grows.
Set priorities.Sometimes a man puts his own interests above others, forgetting about his second half. Often, with shouts and arguments, the wife tries to attract attention.
Husband screams with a child: consequences
The biggest blow to the humiliation and abuse of a husband is your child. After all, it only seems that the child remains on the side of the conflict. In fact, the mother is the protector and when she is insulted and humiliated, her child loses a sense of security. The child receives stress, which can later be expressed in theft to various kinds of fear, sadism.
On a situation where the husband insults and constantly yells at the child's advice psychologist give an unequivocal decision: this should be stopped. There are several ways: from psychological seminars to a complete rupture of relationships. Here it is necessary to analyze the situation individually.
Insults from a drunken husband
Before you figure out what to do if a husband drinks and offends, it is necessary to abstract and assess the scale of the tragedy. Alcoholism affects more often those people who are constantly under stress. Therefore, if your other half drinks, it lacks inner peace.
The desire to escape from reality leads to a complete degradation of the individual when a person does not understand what is happening, where the truth is. If you have this situation and you do not know what to do when your husband drinks and insults, try to provide him with psychological support and help with getting rid of addiction. If he refuses this and is completely satisfied with the situation, you have 2 choices left:
Change your attitude towards your husband and take it with all the flaws;
Break off relationships and leave.
What to do when a husband insults?
There is one “but” in solving this problem. All the advice of psychologists can resolve the conflict only if the man also wants it.
Trying to improve understanding, and not finding a response in the spouse, do not continue to be humiliated.
Look for more radical methods. Try to make him understand whether he needs you or not. Break the relationship. Maybe he will understand that you are the only woman who needs him. Otherwise, your break will be the beginning of a new life for you with another person, who will need you, like air, with all your advantages and disadvantages.