Why does a girl insult in front of her sisters, but in private is a darling?

Hello, my name is Michael. I am 23 years old. I decided to come to visit distant relatives. Explain, please, the incomprehensible behavior of the girl, what does she want? This girl has 2 sisters. One native, another cousin. So when we sit at the table, suddenly begins to make fun of me strangely ... They say go to the store (it was too late I did not go) and then it began "yes he is a full-time worker, he will not go to the store, he will be beaten" I say no I'm afraid, and she's afraid of how ... I also have a problem, I lisp, can't normally pronounce the letter "p", then it is she who starts teasing me, say a fish, say a fish, I can tease you a lot, says, I say that the record stuck ... teased, teased, I say I can't hear you, she says deaf means ... And speaks in the teeth of the floor you teach, her other sisters are silent or laugh a little ... Then ... when there is no one, only she says the type I need to pump up like an actor (showed a photo) ... I also told them why I have a curved nose ...,Do you want to do rhinoplasty ..? I didn’t pay attention ... Then they all went apart, she went to another room, I was alone, came to her TV, watched, and was silent, and for some reason did not tease after that, asked my phone and played games on my phone, and quietly chatting ... pouring tea for myself, but I didn’t even suggest. On the trail. Day decided to help take a heavy bag of potatoes, and she see the consciousness do not lose with a sneer at the sisters said. And most importantly swear words were not with her. Well, the story of how my press turned out with the children was still in the company of her sisters, there was also a moment when I sat down on the steps of the porch, she lay on my left shoulder, of course with her sisters. What does it mean? Why doesn't she behave this way alone, but does she lead when her sisters? She behaves this way not for the first year, when we crossed paths with her every summer. It is exactly at the sight of me that behavior .. And it wasn’t convenient to ask personally why it was so ... DO YOU HAVE IT WITH RESPECT TO SYMPATHY OR NO? ON THE VIEW OF A GIRL IS NOT A FUCKY, CUTE. AND MORE THIS WAS A LONG TIME, JUST A SUSPENSIVE REMEMBERED AT SOUL!
There are 3 answers
Butterfly
Butterfly
Answered on December 19, 2016 15:50
In my opinion, the girl has big psychological problems with herself, but at your expense she successfully asserts herself, behaving in this way by wearing to you in a society with other people. This is a subtle mockery and manipulation - that's how I see it. Sincere sympathy is distinguished by its evenness and a good attitude to the object of its sympathy both in private and in the presence of other people. Such people can keep the intimacy of their relationships in public, not allowing themselves “liberties” in the form of outspoken kisses and hot hugs in public, but they will never mock the person he likes. This is either an indicator of manipulation (the girl is an energetic vampire who successfully uses you), or the immaturity of the person and her dislike for himself, or lack of development and empathy. Clinging to the exterior and publicly playing on its shortcomings is one of the most subtle types of bullying; a normal and civilized one will never do that to everyone, be it a close relative and friend or just a passer-by. This is excusable only for small children who do not yet understand what they are doing, to whom parents have not yet explained why this is bad and why it cannot be done this way. I think that the girl is manipulating you, and already successfully for several years, apparently. Alone, she is normal and even gentle, so that you do not "leave" her, this is a binding. And as soon as people appear, in whose eyes she would like to assert herself, in this case her sisters, she begins to show her "power" over you, in every possible way lifting up, pronouncing such words, giving orders. Then again, "apologizes" in private. In this situation, those who do not react to her quirks are normal, and you. The girl has a psychological problem that she incorrectly solves, and if she correctly understands what she is doing, then she is simply a frank manipulator. There is definitely no love and normal sympathy, I also do not see. You get subtle bullying and inappropriate behavior towards yourself. Why do you need it? If you want to maintain an even relationship with her, although I personally do not see the point in this in her current state, do not succumb to provocations. Determine yourself a flat line of conduct towards her, detached, as familiar. You communicate with her sisters and in private equally and equally. When people do not give in to provocations, you can even turn on the reciprocal joke-insolence: "yes, that's right, you need to get pumped up, thanks for the advice about rhinoplasty, I'll think about it."Do not give her a reason to flare up the dispute or quarrel to which she seeks. This can be achieved in two ways: agree with her when she “attacks” (read about depreciation technology from Mikhail Litvak, I highly recommend!), Or ignore it stupidly. Communicate with her in the same way as in public, do not let touch yourself. You are not a toy to be treated like that. Without receiving an impulse for her inadequate behavior, she will either otlipnet, or she will change.